I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
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Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
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I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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