i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
you inspire me to be a worse person
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
