last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I wish I only lived at night.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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