Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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