Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I could make wine with my vomit
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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