Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
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it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
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And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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