Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
