I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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