I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
