Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
