I want to walk on stilts...naked
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
