how hairy? two words: wookie tits
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
honey bunches of taint.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
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