i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
"it" just moved
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
