My hand turned me down
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize