we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
