i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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