i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
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