i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
