And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
