So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
