i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
