my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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