And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize