We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I am spending my child support on dildos
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
