we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
