I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
