There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
