found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
