there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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