Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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