I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize