So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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