I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
