lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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