I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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