Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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