I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
