those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
