I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
