We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
