omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Randomize
