oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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