I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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