I'm going to jail i love you
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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