I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
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She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
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The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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