..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
