Do you still have your period?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
