I wish I could punch you in the face.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
