Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
