Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
