yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
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i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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