look no pants
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
