Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I intend to get homeless drunk
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
