I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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