I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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