Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Randomize
