Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
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a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
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You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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