Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
