well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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