And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Randomize
