we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
